Meet the security guard with zero swag.. although that's still more than us. Who would want to be a bank security guard is beyond me. Have you seen bank hours!? Ain’t nobody got time for that. But this unfortunate officer of the law looks like he’s solely responsible for there being no lollipops left in the whole bank (the lack of pens is all Kane..) Spoiler alert: The robber gets away….. FAR FAR FAR AWAY.
Bank Robber Outruns Security Guard... Pigeon Tries to Play it Cool
Meet the security guard with zero swag.. although that's still more than us. Who would want to be a bank security guard is beyond me. Have you seen bank hours!? Ain’t nobody got time for that. But this unfortunate officer of the law looks like he’s solely responsible for there being no lollipops left in the whole bank (the lack of pens is all Kane..) Spoiler alert: The robber gets away….. FAR FAR FAR AWAY.
I Would Have Guessed More Booze Because of Course....
To see what beverages could help the body better metabolize alcohol, researchers at Sun Yat-Sen University in Guangzhou analyzed 57 different drinks, including herbal infusions, teas, and carbonated beverages. The team measured their effects on ADH and ALDH, finding that each drink had a different effect.
Interestingly, some herbal teas actually slowed down the process, prolonging a hangover. But the best beverages were Xue bi, the Chinese version of Sprite, as well as soda water, which were found to speed the enzyme's process, shortening the body's exposure to ALDH. Still, before guzzling Sprite or soda water after a few too many, the team said that more research is needed to further support the evidence.
According to a recent study in China it appears that Sprite
may help reduce *GULP* the effects *CHUG!* of a hangover and will
allegedly have you back to feeling 50% *KANE,
BRING ME MY PANTS!* I’m a little skeptical that
the cure to us feeling like complete shit 2 days…. 3 days? Ok fine 4 days..
WHAT? You don’t know my…. OK ENOUGH YES! 8 days a week… was right out there in
our parents garage fridge all along. But for the sake of helping these science
dudes we’ll give it a try. Kane bring me
my six shooter.
Photo: jokeitup.com
I Dunno... She Doesn't Seem So Terrible.... JK JK JK LOL (call me)
Rob Fee would like to make the most obvious point known in
history… That men will put up with just about anything to get some action. So he made a profile on OKCupid and played the role of a lady looking for love'ish.
Big fan, Rob! But Kane and I prefer catfishing to dating websites. That way we don’t have to actually leave our house and can be any man/lady/hamburgler we want.
Big fan, Rob! But Kane and I prefer catfishing to dating websites. That way we don’t have to actually leave our house and can be any man/lady/hamburgler we want.
Check out the article: OK Cupid: An Exploration Into Just How Low Some Guys Will Go
Photo: stingalarm.com
Price of Unicorn Meat Getting You Down? Then You Should Lay Off the Bath Salts...
Radiant Farms Canned Unicorn Meat Specifications
- 14 ounces of delicious unicorn meat, canned for your convenience
- Imported from a small independent cannery in County Meath, Ireland
- Crunchy horn bits in every bite - an excellent source of Calcium
- Tastes like rotisserie chicken but with a hint of marshmallow sweetness
- Easily spreadable for sandwiches, hors d'oeuvres, and more
- Sparkly meat lends the unmistakable air of class and sophistication to your parties
- Unlike other meats, unicorn fat is polyunsaturated and lowers your LDL cholesterol
Everyone knows homemade is always better. Except people that
have eaten at my house and would argue that it’s actually worse and “contains
dog hair” and “almost killed me”… But if you are one of those fictional “cooks”
that can pull off food at home then WOW your friends with some unicorn nuggets.
And not like those gross chicken nuggets that aren’t real chicken and have like
next to no sparkles but the real deal... BOOM they’re impressed! Not to mention your
virginity remains safe and sound. Just remember the first rule of being a
unicortarian is to tell EVERY FUCKING ONE THAT YOU’RE A UNICORTARIAN!!!! ‘Yes
Kane DID get new reading glasses… you know because he’s a unicortarian and all…”
Photo: courtesy thinkgeek.com
Go Around! GO AAAROUUNNNDDD!!!
On Monday, the Nevada Department of Motor Vehicles approved Google’s license application to test autonomous vehicles on the state’s roads. The state had approved such laws back in February, and has now begun issuing licenses based on those regulations.
The state previously outlined that companies that want to test such vehicles will need an insurance bond of $1 million and must provide detailed outlines of where they plan to test it and under what conditions. Further, the car must have two people in it at all times, with one behind the wheel who can take control of the vehicle if needed.
The Autonomous Review Committee of the Nevada DMV is supervising the first licensing procedure and has now approved corresponding plates to go with it, complete with a red background and infinity symbol.
"I felt using the infinity symbol was the best way to represent the ‘car of the future,’" Nevada DMV Director Bruce Breslow said in a statement.
"The unique red plate will be easily recognized by the public and law enforcement and will be used only for licensed autonomous test vehicles. When there comes a time that vehicle manufacturers market autonomous vehicles to the public, that infinity symbol will appear on a green license plate."
I have so many questions... Like why the hell does a car need
to go somewhere by itself? Seriously…. I’ve
seen all of the Transformer movies and cars that go out on their own are
trouble. ‘Cept you Bumblebee, you’re my boy! And who’s paying for gas? Not
fucking me that’s who! (Unless you’re grabbin’ me a six pack or picking Kane
up from pottery class.. the answer is no).
My email got hacked once and my mom almost
went broke buying all those penis pills.. Can you imagine if this thing got hacked? My car would be parked in my neighbor's kitchen (again). Nice lady.
Photo: courtesy of arstechnica.com
The government is such a Samantha!
The government's nice way of saying go fuck yourself.... Got it.
Sure the vibrator may be free but the batteries will cost a $100 trillion. **adds to cart** Alls I know is that if one of these ends up in my trick or treat bag I'm gonna be
Thanks taxpayers.
Photo: courtesy of vibrators.com
Tell Mommy to Hold On!!
Description The Platinum Stage Hitch Pole is the worlds only dancer pole that can be attached to the ball hitch of any truck or SUV. The Hitch Stage has a 3 foot x 3 foot platform that floats approximately 5 feet from the ground* and has approximately 7 feet of usable pole. The Hitch Pole frame and stage is made of the highest quality steel which allows it to support to 200lbs. The pole is available in genuine high polished stainless steel and genuine high polished brass, it is also available in a 1.75 inch or 2.0 inch diameter. The pole also breaks down into two pieces which allows it to fit in any size car.
This mounted (giggle) tail gate (stop it!) is attached to the ball hitch (OMG!!)... It's $449 and on sale which is a helluva lot cheaper than college. HAHA I'm just kidding they were never going to college.. But we don't judge at ScooterIsTheNewBlack. I say bless those that want to distract me from all of my problems. (The stupid dry cleaner lost my bacon suit again).
Can I just say to those people with those annoying sticker families on your back windshield... THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT!! Although... I must say I do still prefer my pool table. Ladies? Gentlemen?? No?? Fine.
Photo: courtesy platinumstages.com
Not the Stiff Drink I Was Going For.... But OK.
Does this really need a product description?
I don't know about you but I drink wine because I'm classy... Why are you laughing? Look the holidays are coming. You haven't met your bosses wife yet. This gem will leave them all talking (to HR) on Monday. Just trust us and enjoy all the promotions you'll be getting...
You know what they say. Once you go red.... you never go back to your bosses house.
Photo: courtesy of mileanhour.com
Take My Wife... PLEASE!
AutoWed is a novelty wedding machine offering a quick hitch, a couple of rings and a personalised certificate for just £1/$1. Audio prompts, specially produced music, a bespoke retro keyboard and VFD display, ring vending and ticket printer all wrapped up in a Cadillac-pink cabinet with shiny aluminium fittings. We came up with the idea last year and built the unit shown here this spring specially for Marvin's Marvellous Mechanical Museum in Detroit, USA (marvin3m.com). Order one now - call us and we will build you one to order.
I take the sanctity of marriage very serious. Just ask my wife Mrs. Grilled Cheese. She so cheesy sometimes it’s like stop it! But seriously… this marriage in a juke box is great. Now you can marry your BFF or your BFF’s BF or your BF’s BF.. The list is endless.
Just have a little self control and don’t end up like me. I’m now paying alimony to a George Forman grill and the entire cast of Saved by the Bell.
via ConceptShed
Photos via technabob
No F'N Thank You!!!
Something about this robot dude screams "disassemble me in my sleep(!)". Plus he looks like a total remote hog.. and I'm still pissed about what that one robot did to my plant.
So I’ll just make my own French toast, thanks. I have a family recipe anyway. It’s one part bourbon and two parts staying alive.
ps. None of these fears apply to my robot bartender.
Be the Talk of the Streets! Literally..
Bad hair day, ladies? Forgot to shave, fellas? Ugly?... oop I mean…
I think this is great and won’t make you look f'n ridiculous (ps. it totally will). But if you’re not a fan of heavy petting in public and prefer to keep it creepy then here ya go.
This shade is supposed to give you the privacy we all sooo long for. It also provides you with the mugging that you probably could have lived without...
Just do me a favor and stay outta the carpool lane with this thing on... or any lane for that matter.pics via Coolest Gadgets
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